


Sugar and Spite

by Daegaer



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Gen, Humour, Innuendo, Sanzo-ikkou - Freeform, Sugar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-07
Updated: 2010-10-07
Packaged: 2017-10-12 11:53:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/124559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daegaer/pseuds/Daegaer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Sanzo-ikkou have a fast-food dinner. Hakkai disapproves of Gojyo's sugar consumption.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sugar and Spite

"You'll rot your teeth."

Gojyo waved a hand in dismissive reply, his other hand busily stirring sugar into his coffee. "Nah," he said indistinctly around his cigarette, thinking he'd probably take a few of the little foil ashtrays with him. "S'fine, I won't."

"Really. I wish I had your confidence," Hakkai said in a voice so disappointedly mild that schoolchildren right across China probably shivered in their sleep.

"Kappas just grow another row of teeth to replace lost ones, right?" Goku said, devouring what was left of his burger and fries and looking wistfully at Sanzo's half-eaten meal. "Like sharks, right?"

Gojyo and Hakkai both turned to glare at Sanzo, who ignored them, turning the page of his newspaper with deep malicious satisfaction.

"Anyway," Gojyo said, "this burger joint's coffee is crap. Loading it with sugar is the only way I _can_ drink it. Goku's got a giant Coke, how come you're not critiquing his dining choices?"

"Goku's rarely allowed soda," Hakkai said patiently, at the same time as Sanzo muttered,

" _Critiquing._ Anyone would think you could read."

"And an occasional sugar-laden soft drink isn't going to harm him. Besides, I don't have to share a room with him when he becomes more hyperactive than usual," Hakkai went on, smiling cheerfully as Sanzo blanched. "You, however, put sugar in everything."

"I don't put it on rice," Gojyo said triumphantly. He rolled his eyes at Hakkai's expression. "Rice Krispies don't count."

"There's sugar in all the food here," Goku said happily as Sanzo shoved his styrofoam box across the table. "Thanks, Sanzo!"

"Hn."

"Watching our weight, are we?" Gojyo leered. "Keeping in shape in case a pretty little novice crosses our path? You monks -- _ow!_ "

Sanzo slid the fan out of sight again as Gojyo rubbed at the red mark across his face.

"There's no point in trying to distract me, Gojyo," Hakkai said.

"Distract you? You think I let him hit me just to distract you?"

"You put another two sachets of sugar in just now when you thought I was looking at Sanzo."

Gojyo sighed. And shoved the coffee aside in defeat. Better an uncaffeineated afternoon than the nagging about taking care of his health that might last for days. "You win," he said.

Hakkai's most beatific smile spread across his face as he carefully poured the coffee into the lid of his burger box and put it down for Jeep. "So much cheaper than diesel," he said cheerfully. "And I'll give you some sugar later," he murmured to Gojyo, who suddenly felt much happier.

"Huh? But won't that rot his teeth? Don't you care about his teeth any more, Hakkai? Huh?" Goku said. His questions were cut short by Sanzo pulling out his wallet.

"Here. Shut up and go buy yourself another Big Mac."

Goku moved so fast that his yell of "Thanks, Sanzo" practically came from behind the service counter.

"Thank you, Sanzo," Hakkai said as Sanzo turned back to his paper.

"Morons," he said in the sweetest tone Gojyo had ever heard.


End file.
